this post was submitted on 18 Nov 2024
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[–] MushuChupacabra 298 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Ballet stars, and their notoriously poor balance.

[–] [email protected] 46 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

He seems to have astonishing balance for someone with one leg

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[–] FlyingSquid 179 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Stay on the ground floor, Russians.

[–] [email protected] 55 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Heart attacks happens on every floor.

[–] ATDA 45 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

So do poisonings, and shootings but we're just mitigating circumstances here lol.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 weeks ago

There could always be a feral bullet that has ran away from it's gun!

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 weeks ago

"Tragically fell from the ground floor balcony and landed on two bullets to the back of the head."

[–] [email protected] 175 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (4 children)

A nice window to the future for US citizens critical of their government... a window ripe for defenestration...

If I die mysteriously from a fall, please refer to this comment.

[–] [email protected] 80 points 3 weeks ago (7 children)

Actually you will probably die in a Tesla whose doors do not open https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/world/friends-trapped-in-tesla-burned-to-death-when-electronic-doors-failed-to-open-after-crash/ar-AA1tWPYH

Or which just hits you: https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2023/06/10/tesla-autopilot-crashes-elon-musk/

I mean now where Teslas are probably the next mandatory car for state officials. And after some "Think Tank" will be pretty sure that all the saftey fuss about autopilots is bad for the economy.

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[–] PriorityMotif 21 points 3 weeks ago

They'll just "find drugs" in your car. Local police forces will be able to link information profiles on you to license plate readers. They'll get an alert for a "liberal" coming into their town and pull you over under some small premise like you were "swerving."

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[–] [email protected] 128 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

They don't have any budget to do it differently or it's a power move, like, it's not official but you know it?

[–] Kyrgizion 181 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

It's a calling card. Everyone knows what happened, not a single soul will comment on it. Unless they fancy being the next up for flight lessons.

[–] TriPolarBearz 26 points 3 weeks ago

I wonder how Red Bull sales are in Russia.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

What do you think Trump's calling card will be? McDonalds induced heart attack?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 weeks ago

Government issued tesla drove into a lake and drowned the occupants.

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[–] iAvicenna 118 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 35 points 3 weeks ago

"haha no problem, this is polonium tea"

[–] pyre 16 points 3 weeks ago

don't worry this is just normal tea I offer before I throw you off building

[–] Supervisor194 99 points 3 weeks ago (20 children)
[–] Maggoty 40 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

You're just blessed enough not to recognize gallows humor. We're actually jealous of you.

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[–] PorradaVFR 86 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I mean ballet dancers are known for being klutzy and prone to tripping over their own feet. Right?

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[–] cyd 63 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I imagine Russia is like the Star Wars setting, lots of crazy steep drops and they never install railings.

[–] FourPacketsOfPeanuts 26 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

The platform where Darth Vader confronts Luke has railings, so they clearly have the parts, tools, and a guy who installs them. Maybe he's just held up on Level B?

[–] reinei 14 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

Or maybe they literally one have that one guy/gal installing the railings throughout the entire Republic‽

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[–] [email protected] 63 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Russia be slippery. My heart goes out to these rare brave souls in a land of cowards.

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[–] GreenKnight23 52 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

In another article emergency services responded with this gem.

He died a natural death. It’s not a crime.

should we be worried

[–] iAvicenna 26 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

cause of death: the natural impact of cement on the body experienced after a perfectly natural fall

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[–] Valmond 49 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (5 children)

This just piles up on the reasons Russia needs to be denuclearisased, putin getting ousted, democracy installed and so on.

Good news Russias economy is in the toilet and someone has started flushing already, Ukrain will prevail and hopefully we'll have peace one day.

[–] solomon42069 51 points 3 weeks ago (9 children)

More realistically, he'll probably die of old age or be ousted by someone younger and more exciting to the wealthy elite that keep Putin in power. Real change may come after that, but a change in leadership is not going to immediately fix long term issues like corruption, wealth disparity, etc.

[–] brucethemoose 25 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I think they will become a Chinese vassal.

I don't know exactly what that'd look like, but the pure economic/political dynamics make it seem kinda inevitable.

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[–] [email protected] 44 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

"in an apparent suicide, putin critic ________ shot himself in the back 20 times. more at 11"

[–] [email protected] 32 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

He's gonna do it again at 11? Damn, that's super sus.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 weeks ago

Gotta give him time to reload.

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[–] Badeendje 43 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)
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[–] [email protected] 43 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (8 children)

So many people fall from their windows or balconies in Russia that I am surprised they are still legal

[–] Red_October 22 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Someone pushed for a new law outlawing them, but the efforts ended after he accidentally fell off a balcony to his death.

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[–] sunbytes 15 points 3 weeks ago (6 children)

It's to make the point that they were murdered. It's a fear tactic with plausible deniability.

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[–] WrenFeathers 30 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

How long before windows make it to the statistics of average deaths per-year in Russia?

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Again? That's another reason to uninstall all windows. Especially in Russia.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 weeks ago

They really could use some railings over there.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

As far as I read, he had a ~~leg~~ spinal injury and an operation scheduled (bad stuff for a ballet dancer - you can't work with an injured ~~leg~~ spine) and was experiencing difficulties with alcohol and painkillers (the latter for the injury). He might have felt that his career was doomed.

As far as I read, he called his girlfriend (or maybe ex-wife, as the article suggests) and asked her to visit him. When she arrived, he had already fallen.

He was characterized as optimistic and nobody had noticed a death wish. Then again, during injury, pain, inability to work, (self-)medication and maybe withdrawal symptoms, other people's predictions of character may not entirely apply to every person.

The balcony was described as not the safest place on Earth. It doesn't require a detective to suspect that being under the influence of strong painkillers might increase the risk.

He can't be characterized as an opposition figure, or a figure of power. There is no clear beneficiary or motive.

As for war and statements against it - he was an artist, a dancer in a publicly funded theatre, and limited by that in what he could say without losing his job. Since it seems that he had reasonable political opinions, inability to voice them without experiencing retribution probably didn't make him cheerful.

[–] hakunawazo 15 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
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