this post was submitted on 01 Oct 2024
378 points (98.2% liked)

NoSafetySmokingFirst

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Welcome to NoSafetySmokingFirst!

For images where the text reads correctly left to right, but visual cues (like colouration, vertical proximity, or horizontal separation) lead you to try to read it top to bottom.

This is similar to, but distinct from, the more widely known “DontDeadOpenInside” format. In that case, the text reads correctly top to bottom, but visual cues (like colouration, horizontal proximity, or vertical separation) lead you to try to read it left to right.

The post that started it all:

NO | SMOKING
SAFETY | FIRST

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[–] [email protected] 75 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"if you can't stand feel free to stand" hey thanks guy why didn't I think of that

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Just do what Professor Xavier does, use that big ol' noggin of yers to levimitate yerself so's it looks what like year walkins!

[–] Agrivar 2 points 1 month ago

You jest, but I honestly always wondered about that... does Xavier only have telepathy and no telekinetic abilities at all? I feel like he should be flying around all Magneto-style (in an upright position, rather than planking like Supes)

[–] [email protected] 58 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Equally stupid either way round.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago (2 children)

They invite me to stand in front of their car. That means I get to block traffic without repercussion, and they'll be charged with assault if they try to stop me.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I mean, assaulting people you don't agree with is kind of the military's thing.

[–] TexasDrunk 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

And a big part of Ram drivers' culture.

[–] psycho_driver 2 points 1 month ago

Owning a Stellantis product probably would eventually make me want to commit random acts of violence as well.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If you've seen the car's back you have its licence plate. You can take a photo of it and record the interaction.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

New York has the plates on the front as well.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

If your action of standing in front of their car can be construed as a protest, they are legally permitted to run you down, per some fuckwit judge.

[–] roguetrick 37 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

The funny part about this is it legally shows a mens rea of intent to harm. So if your argument for running down protesters is you were in fear of your life, this sticker completely destroys it and gets you put away.

[–] Alexstarfire 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod 2 points 1 month ago

Depends entirely on the driver's pantone number

[–] madcaesar 27 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Watch out, we've got a badass over here!

[–] Madison420 14 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Probably one that bitches constantly about taxes being "too damn high!" like a real man of culture.

[–] psycho_driver 11 points 1 month ago

Meanwhile $23,288 delinquent on his child support payments.

[–] Thebeardedsinglemalt 5 points 1 month ago

Drives a Ram and probably put a bunch of those I Did That Biden stickers on gas pumps

[–] Anticorp 4 points 1 month ago

But doesn’t actually pay any taxes himself. He ends up net positive after taking the standard deduction, child tax credit, and earned income credit, which is funded by the taxes he hates so much.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago (2 children)

The metre flows better that way.

If you can't stand,
Feel free to stand
Behind our troops;
In front of my ram.

[–] jaybone 7 points 1 month ago

In Flanders field, this blowhard blows,

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

If you read it with notes (tonally?)

You’re probably hearing it exactly how I am.

[–] Anticorp 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

$20 says this guy has never been a soldier, doesn’t qualify to be a soldier, and is disliked by most soldiers. I know I dislike him already.

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod 3 points 1 month ago

Definitely failed the ASVAB

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

poetry to my eyes

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Why are so many NoSafetySmokingFirst's found on the backs of oversized pickup trucks?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Car size is proportional to car owner's stupidity. The dumber you are, the fancier the idea of mindless communication on the road is for you. And stupid people want their message to be the biggest around, but you can't do that while writing normally, so, you get what you get.

At least that's my theory.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

I think it is more that the appeal of forms of communication where you can exclaim things without having to worry about pesky things like responses increases the dumber the things you want to say are.

[–] PenguinMage 3 points 1 month ago

They can't read... the signs pointed to yes and they put it on

[–] buzz86us 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So he wants to kill Trump?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

He certainly seems the type

[–] Thebeardedsinglemalt 8 points 1 month ago

So this guy intends to run over the orange turd, since the orange turd also hates troops and veterans

[–] Nuke_the_whales 8 points 1 month ago

Lick boots with me daddy

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Love the garbage decal job, too. Couldn't be bothered to get out the level, Mr. Gravy Seal?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

Instructions unclear: I'm a troop who sat down and got rammed by this ram. Now I can no longer stand and got rammed again.

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"[P]atriotism is a word; and one that generally comes to mean either my country, right or wrong, which is infamous, or my country is always right, which is imbecile." - Patrick O'Brien

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (2 children)

why is the P in patriotism have a []? did patrick obrien originally say atriotism?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

It denotes a change in capitalization from the original.

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod 5 points 1 month ago

No, the full quote starts off with "But you know as well as I, patriotism..." and I feel the preface dulls the impact of the statement.

But if you want the full meaning then you should read all of the books over and over again. At least that's what worked for me.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

That's some radical ablism

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Crazy how much this guy loves Biden's foreign policy.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Do all ram owners listen to "ram ranch"?

[–] saltesc 4 points 1 month ago

So he calls his junk his Ram and stands behind troops?

[–] Shard 2 points 1 month ago

Fool me can't get fooled again.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

[Ram] [place that heals the disabled] [our troops]