Asklemmy

Depends on my mood. If I’m feeling good I’m usually pretty nice, but if I’m hangry then I get not-nice.

I don't think I am, I often regret things I say or do. Even little things.

75%

Yes, but I'm also defensive. If you emit love and kindness, I'm peachy. If you put me on guard, my teeth get sharp.

I'm not a nice person. I'm not a kind person. I'm not even a good person. I try to be all of those things and sometimes it feels like a struggle. I don't think I'm evil or a total asshole or a sociopath or something. I just think it a metric we have to constantly check-in on and adjust. I don't really trust people that think of themselves as nice, kind, or good. I don't think I really agree with those people about what it really means to be nice, kind, or good. For example, I do believe the song got it right, sometimes you do need to be cruel to be kind in the right measure.

no

In person to people i dont know or dont hate I'm nice in my intent and my actions but I am sometimes mean in communication unintentionally and intentionally.

On the internet it's different. Because on the internet I am often interacting with people I will never meet or never properly form a relationship with nor will they impact my relationships with other people I tend to assign less value to being nice. I don't go out of my way to be nasty but I'll be disrespectful and condescending if the conversation goes there. But I real life I would take a kill em with kindness strategy instead of rolling in the mud.

no

not always :(

I try to be, but I don't rule out there may be aspects of the definition that go over my head. For example, there was a time when I was more known for giving to those in need than I'm known for now, but there were critics of mine who saw this and would accuse me of "buying over my friends with gifts". These same people often ask if I see people as pawns because I exchange favors with them, ask if I "think flattery is okay" during the times when I was more known for complimenting others, and criticize me over a combination things I've long made up for, things that normally wouldn't be seen as problematic, and unproven things. I guess I have a lot of everyday pharisees in life who make me think of this question a lot and that this is fresh in my mind. I don't stop people from wanting to explain how I'm not nice though, I just want to understand (within reason, I am my own human).

Variably. I am not, however, necessarily a good person either. It depends on the context.

I get told I'm one of the nicest and most polite people they've met, so I think there is something to it... I try my best to be friendly and helpful to people, and treat people how I want to be treated! 🤗

My students always say I am. They seem so confused when they find out their actions still have consequences in my classroom.

I think I am. I think I'm nicer than most people (cringing at myself for saying that but I can't think of a humbler way to phrase it while still being honest).

I don't care about being "nice," I try very hard to be good and sometimes that comes off as "nice," but generally being good improves my life, the life of my loved ones, the life of my community, and sometimes even the world, if only very little.

Evil people can be nice too, is the problem.

Nope. I actually never want to be described as nice.

Fair, though? Yes, I would like to think that I am fair.

No. I know people who are genuinely nice, and I don't compare to that. I am, for the most part, trying to be a very relaxed person though, and my benign apathy has sometimes been described as "nice".

Kind. I try to be a kind person. Sometimes I fail. Too many people argue the being "nice" is merely a superficial term.

No. I can be kind but I am not nice.

I'd like to think so, most of the time.

But one of the important lesson I learned is that you can't be too nice at work, you have to put your foot down sometimes, otherwise people would just walk all over you and nothing gets done.

I don't like it, but it is what it is.

Nah I'm not nice though I am considerate. I'm not socially... apt.. but I know how to act.

Yes. I am. At least nice to people who are also nice to me.

I try to be the best person I can be.

Nope. I'm thinking of taking acting classes or something because I try to be nice and it doesn't come across that way at all.

I have some very serious mood swings. Generally, I'm pretty nice. But if I'm in a bad mood, I turn into a very rude person.

Wow, I really need therapy, don't I?

I like to think so. I put a lot of effort into trying to be someone I would want to be friends with, and there are times I slip up of course, but generally I think of myself as someone who is nice.

Other people seem to think so, but I am not any nicer on the outside than on the inside, not unfailingly polite and certainly get defensive sometimes.

So I am going to say yes because what's on the outside is what I feel in the inside, and people think I am nice.

only on tuesday

Not often.

Yes, I try to be. I can't be an asshole, I feel really bad about it. I have had to be the cruel person and the liar a handful of times, and I hate to do it. But it is what it is. I look at someone like Elon Musk as the embodiment of a "terrible person" and do the opposite of him.

I am definitely not a narcissist, I am definitely not self-centered, and I am definitely not cruel.

I used to be nice, then a guy in a bucket hat stood in front of me at a concert.

I think I'm nice. I care, look out for others, and try to be considerate.

Depends what you mean by "nice". Nice as in "genuinely good" person, or nice as a "nice behavior towards others"? There's a difference, because in the latter one, it can involve not being honest, just so you can appear "nice". So I'm not "nicely socially behaving" most of the time, I'm instead hammering with facts (without being aggressive). My underlying reason for being like that is because: 1. I'm not diplomatic at all, I wasn't born with that gene it seems, 2. I don't believe I help the situation if I just be nice for the sake of being nice. I feel more useful when I'm straight up, clear as water, without being combative or aggressive. If that makes me not nice because I'm not sugarcoating with socially expected bullshit, then I'm not nice. If that makes me nice because I try to help and my intent is pure, then sure, I'm nice.

I can be.

I try not to be but sometimes I can't help myself.

No.

I’m not a “nice guy”.

I think I am. I try not to be mean or insensitive, and I try to only say good things about people. But I sometimes worry if I come across as trying too hard. And sometimes I think my blunt, cynical sense of humour doesn't really land.

I like to think I am.

I think so. I'm kind and caring, I have really great friends who wouldn't be if I wasn't also a genuinely good person.

I haven't always been but I always tried to be. For a long time I was really chaotic and had some personal issues that made it hard for me to like actually follow through with it. But I worked on myself a lot and I continue to. I still fuck up and I'm sure there's people who think I'm a dick. But for the most part I'm a nice, kind person

Everyone claiming to be nice is living a lie and ignoring that everything everyone does ever is essentially motivated by their own self-interests.

Recognizing that makes it a hell of a lot easier to deal with people and avoid buying into the forced bullshit that attempts to force itself into every aspect of life.

I am very nice. I could probably be kinder, but I think if I was I'd be letting myself get walked on and stuff, so I don't think it's all that good to be too polite.

I have a different take: I try to not be an unpleasant person.

I suffer from a particularly nasty Voltron of ADD and Asperger’s. High-functioning, yes. But it’s still a non-trivial level of neurological fuckery. This means that my social actions and reactions are… different. Sometimes they deviate significantly from the socially accepted baseline. So to be “nice”? What is nice? How to categorize that, measure that, evaluate that? “Nice” could be different for each person I come across.

So to avoid driving myself crazy, I have flipped things and simply concentrated on not being an unpleasant person. To not be rude, not disrespectful, not frightening or combative or creepy. It ends up being a little easier to categorize, define, and measure in that regard, because it involves not doing something instead of doing something. It is avoiding a baseline instead of trying to meet it.