this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2023
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[–] [email protected] 82 points 1 year ago (27 children)

I would love to create a community on here for men's mental health and (actual) issues, but I'm afraid it would get invaded by the toxic masculinity crap.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Isn't this exactly part of the problem? Men have been gaslit into "being a man" on one side, while also being taught to fear "toxic masculinity" if they try to discuss their problems in group/digital settings. It seems no matter how such a community behaves there will always people that push both of these narratives. But they're not part of the solution, so I'm not sure I'm gonna take them seriously.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Guys being gas lit into "Being man" is the toxic masculinity I am talking about.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

"I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad...", what actually does people think toxic masculinity is? The one you're replying to seems to have been tricked into believing that feminists think that all masculine traits are bad. They are actually listening to the enemy of their own self best interests.

I think there might be some overlap causing confusion. Being protective and problem solving are not inherently bad, but combine it with stuff like dominating, controling and not listening to others, and it can be very harmful. So a person might believe that they are just being protective but since they didn't listen to the other person their actions turns to controling instead.

[–] quicksand 19 points 1 year ago

I finally started to address my mental health issues and would love a community like that fwiw

[–] tbblake 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Hi there! Looks like you linked to a Lemmy community using a URL instead of its name, which doesn't work well for people on different instances. Try fixing it like this: [email protected]

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

It's is a good idea... but it will get hijacked by right-wing grifters. That's how the whole "incel" thing got started.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

Yeah - I haven’t checked Reddit again but there was

Menslib, which was focused on Men related issues and discussing them from an empathetic standpoint. I’d say it were critical social discussion with a clear emphasis on men.

And there was bropill, which was less about longer discussions and more about sharing in general.

I dunno if they are still active but if you start something I’d love to join that community. So maybe write me a DM if you do? :)

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It would require very strict moderation but it's feasible...

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It doesn't necessarily require strict moderation... but the mods will have to follow the Bartender's Rule.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

This is great! It reminds me of this video which in my opinion everyone should watch who tries to run a community (and everybody else should watch it as well).

The Alt-Right Playbook: How to Radicalize a Normie

Just as a shady bar can be a magnet to not so nice people, a mental health online community for specifically men on a platform like Lemmy (that probably already has a not so diverse user base) is basically a honey pot for people who want to spread certain ideologies.

The video gets reported endlessly on YouTube btw, that’s why it is “age restricted”. :( While it talks about hatred it doesn’t endorse hatred. But for some reason this gets a video age restricted on YouTube while videos which are actively hateful do not get restricted…

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

The thing is, you're going to need actual leftists with a lot of experience in right-wing narratives to do that... liberals can't. They only recognize right-wing narratives when it's far, far too late - if they recognize them at all. That's what the Bartender's Rule demonstrates - you can't allow right-wing ideologies to hide behind "respectibility politcs." If you do, the right-wingers have already won.

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[–] PeskyAce 5 points 1 year ago

There's a sub-reddit called Daddit. It was a great support group for Dads on reddit, either struggling or wanted to share their love for their kids. It's very doable, you just need to set an example early on for what it needs to be.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

There was one in reddit that worked well IMO: menslib

[–] Phoenixbouncing 4 points 1 year ago

I'd totally be down for that kind of community.

DM me if you set it up too.

[–] d4rknusw1ld 3 points 1 year ago

Toxic masculinity is just severe insecurity and blatant ignorance with a sprinkle of lack of education. Modern day caveman only good for moving logs and building houses. They now think they deserve a place where something educated needs to be discussed and instead of understanding or trying to understand they just spout their bullshit.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

there was r/menslib on reddit. Maybe there will be some movement here

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] robocall 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Best I can do is a slap on the back

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And a “she’ll be right”

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[–] goa_mpu 8 points 1 year ago

virtual hug

It WILL get better! You are doing your best! I proud of you for expressing your feelings!

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Someone: "My gender transition is almost complete."

Society: "No, not like that!"

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Swift as the coursing river?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

With the force of a great typhoon?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

With all the strength of a raging fire

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Mysterious as the dark side of...

THE MOOOOOOOOOOON...?

[–] Viking_Hippie 3 points 1 year ago
[–] SeeMinusMinus 16 points 1 year ago (8 children)

I became a man are you going to save me?

[–] cerberus 12 points 1 year ago

Too much effort

[–] robocall 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] SeeMinusMinus 3 points 1 year ago

Good thing I learned how to tie shoes from sesame street.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Now man up, up, up until you are out of the water.

[–] Thteven 4 points 1 year ago

What's in it for me?

[–] somethingsnappy 3 points 1 year ago

I will tryyyyyyyy to fix you.

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[–] TheControlled 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)

This is a true story: My doctor told me this while I was lying in a hospital bed, in the ICU, after trying to kill myself by ODing on pills and alcohol, straps around my wrists and ankles. This was at an extremely nice hospital in Silicon Valley, California.

I was loaded on antipsychotics and a little loopy but I remember telling him that it was sexist bullshit and unhelpful, which made the nurse chuckle.

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[–] another_lemming 15 points 1 year ago

be me

a man

not using that title to abuse minors and women

having a life worth living

observing manosphere

being depressed so many men being sad they aren't alphamegachads, insisting to become ones

write something supportive

leave them to go their own way

[–] TheBoarOrTheSpear 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I will say, from my grandfather to my father to me, it feels mental health in men has shifted. my dad told me what his dad did (like “the crust will put hair on your chest”) but it feels society has shifted on the subject and I hope our education system still reflects that!

Yay to less drowning alone! Lol

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Also Society: wHy MeN cOmMiT mOrE sUiCiDe

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I wish I could help you :(

Sincerely, an nb

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[–] Ddhuud 6 points 1 year ago

Man up!

Ie. bury whatever emotion you're feeling and be more aggressive.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In my opinion "be a man" means not afraid to talk to someone about your problems

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

Yeah but that's not how the people this meme criticises use it.

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