this post was submitted on 24 Mar 2024
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Microblog Memes

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[–] [email protected] 71 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I don't remember the show (or even if it was a show) but a guy went to the doctor to complain about his back pain. Doctor said that it might clear up in several thousand years. Confused, the patient asks for clarification. Basically, humans went bipedal too soon, and our spines weren't made to be upright for so long at a time. The doctor's analogy was that we "turned a clothesline into a flagpole".

[–] [email protected] 28 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Louie, whatever anyone feels about its creator it's still a great show.

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[–] [email protected] 61 points 8 months ago (17 children)

The human body is a wonder of completely random chance, but a complete and utter failure of any kind of system. Anyone who isn't a transhumanist is a total jobbernowl, in my humble opinion.

we have organs that only exist to kill us, our mouths are completely fucked, our bodies will just stop making vitally important chemicals, it's stupidly common for our bodies to kill themselves because it freaks out at perfectly benign things, our super special brains take very stupid shortcuts, and of course the bones. A biologist could probably go on for hours about the failures of evolution, but i am not a biologist.

[–] shneancy 35 points 8 months ago (2 children)

i'm incredibly salty about how our "only air please" tubes are connected to "everything goes through that" tubes, like what the fuck

[–] Jumi 19 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Don't forget that our spine would prefer having us walk on all fours

[–] RGB3x3 9 points 8 months ago

But our hips were like, "nah fuck that. I'm up now."

[–] 5too 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Supposedly, that little hack is what lets us talk.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

No, that just lets us talk out of the same hole we put other things into. The talking mechanism could be connected to just the air hole. And as a bonus, we could talk while eating and drinking.

[–] CobblerScholar 18 points 8 months ago (1 children)

But you see it isn't a failure, in fact it's literally the most successful yet. Evolutionary adaptations don't come about because they make life comfortable they make it so one can live long enough to make babies, everything else is just a bonus

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Which is why the whole thing kinda starts to break down once a species reaches a point where the specimens can survive after they can no longer produce offspring. Like humans.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

There's multiple examples of the same thing in other species. Typically it's a social animal where passing on accumulated knowledge is a survival strategy. Whales are one example, I'd have to look up the others.

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[–] kautau 10 points 8 months ago (2 children)

We should have flaccid teeth that only get hard when we are hungry and see food

[–] shadearg 25 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

It would have cost you nothing not to promote the concept of tooth boners.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

brb I need to brush my teeth for the 4th time today

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[–] dejected_warp_core 8 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Thanks, I hate it.

Imagine having to vividly imagine eating a bacon cheeseburger in order to floss or brush. No thank you.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago

And penises have some magnificent garbage wiring, leading into all sorts of fun stuff you wouldn't wish on your enemy. Evolution is just a giant brute force mechanism. An LLM of biology, if you will.

[–] dejected_warp_core 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I agree with the sentiment, but trans-humanism as a concept has to fight uphill in all directions to not wind up as repackaged eugenics.

To improve upon the human form in a way that serves future generations is a path fraught with ethical problems. How does one value a change or augmentation to human form as an improvement? Who gets to improve or be improved? What happens when the technology or treatments are too resource intensive or expensive for everyone? What keeps the rich and powerful from hoarding all the life-extending improvements from the rest?

At the very minimum, supplying something like an inject-able gene therapy to the masses must be conducted at a global scale - far greater than what it took to eradicate smallpox. Anything less, and we're picking winners and losers, and slide down the slippery ethical slope.

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[–] [email protected] 45 points 8 months ago (3 children)

It's the reason we have so many birth complications. Why do you think we are the only animal on the planet that is bipedal all the time? It's actually really mind bending how we survived and thrived

[–] IonAddis 60 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Technically...birds are bipedal all the time. They went about it very differently though.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Birds have optimized for minimum weight tho, so they can afford to only have 2 limbs supporting the entire body

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Have you seen their legs though? They dont look sufficient at all, especially taller birds which stand in the water often have insanely thin legs

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

Keep in mind that most of the bird's visible body volume is just fluff

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[–] CitizenKong 5 points 8 months ago

They're also dinosaurs, so definitely not mammals.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 8 months ago (1 children)

We are just too stubborn to die out.

[–] peopleproblems 8 points 8 months ago

Figured out the one trick Nature didn't want you know - evolution can be circumvented by sheer ignorant willpower.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago

Not only we're the only bipedal mammal, we have the biggest head relative to our body out of any animal. That combination is just not a good time for anyone involved

[–] [email protected] 32 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Don't get me started on knees

[–] [email protected] 18 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Wrists are also surprisingly weak.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

There's vomit on his sweater already

[–] Emerald 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)
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[–] FlyingSquid 8 points 8 months ago

My dad had to get one replaced. That was a sucky year for him.

[–] NickwithaC 25 points 8 months ago

No shit. Humans started walking on two legs, suddenly giving birth is fucking atrocious. That was natural selection at work and we should have taken the hint.

[–] peopleproblems 23 points 8 months ago (2 children)

I had bad carpal tunnel. I still do, but it was worse.

They do a test where they use some crazy BDSM shit and shock your arms to measure the response in your nerves (which indicates compression) and then they do a needle thing to measure the movement of your muscles.

The sick fucks said that second one would be "unpleasant" but it was like my hand was on fire the whole time.

If your fingers get tingly, get wrist splints for sleeping. That's it

[–] LaunchesKayaks 16 points 8 months ago

I got my hand issues checked out way too late. Turns out I had REALLY bad carpal tunnel. My only treatment option at that point was surgery. I could hardly use my hands for 5 months before the surgery. Both hands got the ligament in the palms snipped and now everything is pretty good.

If your hands hurt and/or feel weird and/or don't work right, see a fuckin doctor. Don't wait like my dumb ass did lmao.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I didn't find nerve conduction studies too bad but by that time I'd spent 18 months feeling like I was holding my arms over a fire so a different unpleasant sensation was basically like a cool towel on sunburn :p

Also I'm a like please-skin-me-a-little masochist, so maybe it is bdsm shit :p

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[–] Alexstarfire 19 points 8 months ago

That's why I treat mine like the garbage it is.

[–] dejected_warp_core 17 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Oh it's trash skeletal system alright. Talk to any physiotherapist about knees, shoulders, and what shoes are doing to our arches.

[–] QuaternionsRock 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

What are shoes doing to our arches?

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[–] Soggy 4 points 8 months ago

Walking barefoot all the time is also bad for our legs and feet, but in different ways. Because we made our ground too hard and we aren't allowed to sit down often enough.

[–] hark 11 points 8 months ago (1 children)

The human body isn't perfect, but it's not helped by doing long stretches of a single activity.

[–] hydrospanner 9 points 8 months ago (1 children)

So it's more "stupid agriculture, pulling us away from the nomadic hunter-gatherer life we're built for"?

[–] QuaternionsRock 8 points 8 months ago

Chasing an animal to exhaustion involves a lot of running, which really fucks up your knees. Especially with uneven surfaces and primitive shoes.

I think the human body really is just a product of “good enough”.

[–] LifeOfChance 10 points 8 months ago

It's not really skeletal it's muscular.

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod 8 points 8 months ago

Anyone with sciatica could have told you this

[–] Anticorp 5 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Where's our adaptive evolution?!?!

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[–] SpaceNoodle 5 points 8 months ago
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