this post was submitted on 18 Jan 2024
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Memes

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[–] [email protected] 63 points 10 months ago

I had to pay the trash company to take an old couch. They sent over a special truck that ate that sofa bed in seconds and all that was left on the road were some wood splinters. That was when I knew how I wanted to be disposed of after I die.

[–] NocturnalMorning 48 points 10 months ago (4 children)

I've always said to dump me in a ditch somewhere, I'm not gonna care, I'll be dead. If anybody pays for an expensive ass coffin for me, I will come back and haunt their ass.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago (3 children)
[–] excitingburp 5 points 10 months ago

This is basically what I want done, composting and then burial under a redwood sapling. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_composting

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

I've said the same thing,same reasoning, but my wife and kids lost their minds when I suggested it. I even suggested planting a tree so they could have a place to consider "me" to be,no dice. So good luck to you and everyone else concerned with saving money or hassle out there.

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[–] Grimy 40 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Your body is a resource. Don't throw it away or bury it, give it to a gothy craftsman in exchange for half the jewelry made from it going to your family. It literally triples your chances of acquiring haunting privileges.

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 10 months ago (3 children)

A reminder to everyone that Costco sells caskets: https://www.costco.com/funeral-caskets.html

And every funeral home legally has to allow you to purchase the casket elsewhere per the FTC: https://consumer.ftc.gov/articles/ftc-funeral-rule (That doc also has a lot of other useful tips in it.)

[–] [email protected] 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I was a funeral director. People rarely provide their own caskets even if they have the legal right to. Nobody wants to manage the purchase and delivery of an expensive product right after their loved one has died. Funeral homes will also make it difficult by requiring delivery at certain times, inspection by the purchaser at time of delivery, and requiring the purchaser also get liability insurance on the casket.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Can't have the casket failing and killing the occupant. /s

[–] this_1_is_mine 6 points 10 months ago

More like falling apart while someone else is carrying your dead ass. Could you imagine poor uncle ted having his little toe smashed by a corner when a handle rips off..... Or a lid lock that doesn't work and it springs open when they dropped you and now nanna can see your bum since funeral homes generally dress the remains but cutting the backs of the clothing open so it can all be slipped on from the front and don't have to roll you over.... But you did when you flopped out like a fish.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago

I love the fact that there is star ratings for the caskets, like did the person who passed away come back to life to rate the casket out of 5 starts and then pass away again.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

Nice try Costco. Your casket sales are down and now the guerilla marketing starts.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (9 children)

Even knowing the crazy shit that happens when your body is "donated for science" I still want it. It would be neat for some weirdo to have my skull on their shelf, or get dissected in front of an audience.

Now that I think about it, I should sell off my body parts like a Ferengi.

[–] AreaKode 7 points 10 months ago

Rule of Acquisition #75: Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of latinum.

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[–] gnate 21 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Air frying is just a convection cremation, you know.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 10 months ago (5 children)

In Edge runners, they were putting people's cremated remains in stainless steel capsule, like a world's worst kinder surprise. That struck me as being very plausible in the future.

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[–] MeatPilot 17 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Funeral homes will try to guilt trip you to go for the most expensive options by saying it will be the last thing you can do for your loved ones.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago

The last thing I do for them will be to pull the plug most likely. After they dead it's whatever.

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[–] Bytemeister 16 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I told my wife that when I die, if she can, claim she doesn't recognize the body so that the state has to dispose of me to save costs.

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[–] EnderMB 15 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Just fling me into a wood chipper, and point it at the ground in a field somewhere.

Failing that, I've always loved the idea of being strapped to a rocket and launched into space.

If all else fails, I'd like my family to perform a (mostly) shot-for-shot remake of the funeral scene from GoW: Ragnarok.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago (3 children)

As a woodworker, my first thought is 'I can build my own casket for a tenth of that price."

My second thought is "Damn I need to get into the casket industry."

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I want my remains to be scattered around wonderland. Also, no cremation

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago (5 children)

Am I the only one that thinks a Viking burial with a raft cobbled together out of logs and stuff by my loved ones would be awesome?

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[–] iAvicenna 11 points 10 months ago

For when you need that last extra special grope of capitalism

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I like the idea of having the entire family pool in money to get a single, large, shared funerary urn. Dump my ashes in with my ancestors and give it a good stir.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Eww, I don't want to be touching great-uncle Harvey!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

☝️ This person gets it.

[–] GlitzyArmrest 4 points 10 months ago

I too have thought about the family urn. Throw in the pet ashes too!

[–] Thcdenton 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Just shoot me out of a cannon

[–] Anticorp 8 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Fuck yeah! Don't even wait until I'm dead.

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[–] this_1_is_mine 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

You just wait to find out how much it cost to make the hole and then to close it. Or to just purchase the little spot of ground that you're going to be buried beneath. Or how about the giant concrete box they have to bury you in to which goes your casket. Or spending $600 on a single splay flowers..... With a bow.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Donate me to science. Have it all. Dissect my woofy for all I care.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

They might just blow you up with bombs or leave you in a field to rot so they can study decomposition.

[–] TheRealKuni 6 points 10 months ago

Awesome! I love the idea of being part of a corpse farm.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

I've made it very known that I wanna be thrown in to the woods to rot when I die.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I still can't believe feeding a corpse to vultures is illegal. That's the most natural way to bury someone there is.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (6 children)
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[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

I'm finally going to medical school!

Harvard Medical. As a cadaver. They'll return my ashes to my son when the students are finished hacking my fat ass up for science.

[–] AgentGrimstone 5 points 10 months ago

Put me on the lawn so I can finally fertlize it like I said I would.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (2 children)

@BonesOfTheMoon Funerals are bourgeoisie BS. $ 700 cremations include a cardboard box

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[–] FlashZordon 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Just Kobe me into the nearest dumpster/landfill.

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