Trans
General trans community.
Rules:
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Follow all blahaj.zone rules
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All posts must be trans-related. Other queer-related posts go to c/lgbtq.
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Don't post negative, depressing news articles about trans issues unless there is a call to action or a way to help.
Resources:
Best resource: https://github.com/cvyl/awesome-transgender Site with links to resources for just about anything.
Trevor Project: crisis mental health services for LGBTQ people, lots of helpful information and resources: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/
The Gender Dysphoria Bible: useful info on various aspects of gender dysphoria: https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en
StainedGlassWoman: Various useful essays on trans topics: https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/
Trans resources: https://trans-resources.info/
[USA] Resources for trans people in the South: https://southernequality.org/resources/transinthesouth/#provider-map
[USA] Report discrimination: https://action.aclu.org/legal-intake/report-lgbtqhiv-discrimination
[USA] Keep track on trans legislation and news: https://www.erininthemorning.com/
[GERMANY] Bundesverband Trans: Find medical trans resources: https://www.bundesverband-trans.de/publikationen/leitfaden-fuer-behandlungssuchende/
[GERMANY] Trans DB: Insurance information (may be outdated): https://transdb.de/
[GERMANY] Deutsche Gesellschaft für Transidentität und Intersexualität: They have contact information for their advice centers and some general information for trans and intersex people. They also do activism: dgti.org
*this is a work in progress, and these resources are courtesy of users like you! if you have a resource that helped you out in your trans journey, comment below in the pinned post and I'll add here to pass it on
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I started transition at 32 (3 ish years ago) and it's been the best gift I've ever given myself. I honestly can't fathom how I lived before. No surgery, just a few years of HRT and lasers, but this is truly the best possible life to have.
But what's interesting is that I don't really... "feel trans" anymore? I don't get misgendered by strangers or on the phone, I have random dudes hit on me at the bar. I remember what it was like when I didn't pass, where people would stare. But idk, not anymore. Now I'm just some random lady at the grocery store.
How do you feel about that? I expected to like it, but I really don't...
Guilty but... zen? I mean you go to any support group and you'll hear a bunch of girls wishing they could pass. And I felt I had to stop going to those meetings because who exactly wants me to say "you are valid, passing doesn't mean everything" to a girl who is facing regular harassment. Feels like a billionaire saying "money isn't everything" ya'know?
But at the same time, I can just live my life now. A life I didn't think I could ever get to in my egg cracking days. I look in the mirror and smile everyday. Of course I have my bad days, but... life is good.
How are you feeling with this? Where were your expectations?
I had the same experience with meetings and spaces. I find that online, I can talk about my struggles with loss of queer identity more freely than I can in person.
It was my life long dream that I never ever thought I'd achieve. And then I achieved it, and it for the first little while, I refused to believe I had achieved it, because I couldn't truly see myself in the mirror. Strangers could, but it took me a while to believe them. And then it was good for a while, but I started to notice the distance in the community. Because I was cis passing, it became hard to talk openly about anything I was struggling with, because for many folks, I had achieved the single goal they wanted to achieve, and whatever I was struggling with was small compared to that privilege. And I started to feel that distance and loss of queerness.
And I realised just how strongly I value my community. I care about fitting in with the queer community far more than I care about fitting in with cishet society.
These days, I'm basically disconnected from offline queer communities, and I still feel that loss. I think I'm probably always going to feel it...