this post was submitted on 09 Jan 2024
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[–] Stamets 32 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (18 children)

No, you're not getting it.

This article is about loneliness, not about being alone. People who like being alone have nothing to do with this article. What you've effectively done is come in and say "Yeah I know you guys are really upset and your mental health is totally fucked by this but I'm really happy and this is awesome!"

This article has literally nothing to do with enjoying being alone. It is about the dead opposite of that. That's what I mean by saying then that's not being lonely. If you enjoy it then this article isn't for you. Let the people who it is for actually discuss it without immediately minimizing our pain and stress over the situation.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 10 months ago (17 children)

I didn't mean to minimize anything, and I'm sorry if it came out that way.

I understand and acknowledge that some people, for one reason or another, are suffering from loneliness.

But I also acknowledge that the opposite has happened to others. They are too overwhelmed by the constant interactions they have, either digitally or face-to-face, and want to distance themselves from these interactions, but often can't.

Both loneliness and the inability to detach from constant interactions are both quite bad for mental health. It's not a competition; people from opposite ends of the spectrum are suffering.

[–] Stamets 12 points 10 months ago (6 children)

I'm not sure how else I'm supposed to explain this to you other than this.

This isn't about you. This is about people who are upset and depressed and need help because of loneliness. You clearly are not part of that group as you keep saying. You claim that you are not here to minimize but here you are, doubling down, and minimizing the suffering that lonely people are going through. Not people who are alone. People who are lonely. Not people who are enjoying solitude. People who are lonely. Not people who are dealing with being overwhelmed. People who are lonely.

To put it in another form, you're effectively walking into an eating disorder clinic and saying "Yeah, this place might be needed for some but I mean for a lot of us it's an outlet." Do you get it now?

[–] Beachgoingcitizen 2 points 10 months ago (2 children)

This dude aint minimizing anyones suffering. I can imagine that people who are overwhelmed by the rigours of modern living and need to retreat is one of the contributing factors to a fractured society that results in lonely people.

The article even says at much.

Dont hate on this person for acknowledging that the people respond differntly to the same broken system. Everyones hurting man

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

It's good for that person that they aren't feeling the loneliness mentioned in the article, yes. The poster IS feeling that loneliness, though.

Was it necessary for that person to say that in response to someone who is saying that they are having those bad thoughts and feelings? Probably not. Are they a bad person? Probably not.

"I feel horribly lonely" "I don't feel lonely. In fact, I loved the aspects of life that caused you to feel this way"

(The above might be how it comes off to some people.)

I mean, it's good for everyone who doesn't feel lonely, but that person feeling good still doesn't really help people like the poster who do feel lonely.

I don't think the commenter is wrong necessarily, but it should almost be expected to get less than happy responses from the OP, especially with the context.

[–] Stamets 7 points 10 months ago
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