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I like Kant's take on this. He argued (roughly, by memory) that giving to people begging on the street directly was a selfish act, as it's satisfying our own need to feel better about ourselves more than the needs of the homeless population, and would lead to an unfair distribution giving more money to those who are talented at evoking empathy rather than those that might need it the most. He argued that the unselfish thing to do would be to donate to the cause indirectly, responding not to the emotional response in the moment but to a rational consideration of the needs of the homeless population.
I think he has a point. That said, there's nothing wrong with being selfish every now and then, especially not if your selfishness gives someone a warm meal. And empathy is a healthy human reaction.
Your parents seem to have failed to grasp the challenges facing the homeless population. A better take would be "don't give that guy money, start donating regularly to a local charity instead and help make sure that help is given to all those who need it".
Oh, and also, rally for political change.
Kant had a point there, but I think he also fails to address the problem.
The existence of charitable organizations means that the government has failed that group of people. Charitable organizations are extremely inefficient and sometimes are prone to the exact problems he brings up with donating directly to individuals, or they may prioritize certain individuals with certain religious beliefs over others.
Charitable organizations need to be folded and replaced with government programs. We don't need to be paying CEOs salaries when we're just trying to help someone on the street.
The thing about "Don't do X, because we SHOULD do Y"
Is that nobody's doing Y, and we're nowhere close to getting there, so, until we are, we should support the X.
So then we should ignore Kant and give money to individuals because it's better than nothing
Or what if we support anyone who can help in the way that they are able and feel comfortable helping?
Trying to help, helps, even if they aren't helping how you think they should.
That was the point of my comment.
Sure - if your alternative is doing nothing. It's not like he's saying giving money to beggars is immoral, it's just amoral.
Amoral means not morally relevant. Something that is morally neutral is not amoral, it's morally neutral.
E.g it is morally neutral to pet a dog, it is amoral to like the colour blue.
Normally in moral philosophy one would avoid this confusion by classifying morally relevant actions/outcomes as "bad","neutral", or "good".
And Kant would, if I read him correctly, argue that giving money to a beggar is not a moral action - it's a selfish action, and not morally bad or good as such. It doesn't have to do with morality, it has to do with our need to feel better about ourselves. :)