this post was submitted on 16 Dec 2023
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I saw something somewhere recently about how Hallmark movies have a target audience of 55+ conservative white women, and the running theme is "city bad country good," "daughter come home, settle down with nice country man," but in reality their daughters will never move back home.
That makes a lot of sense. And it really hits at one of the misconceptions a lot of those people have about cities: that they’re lonely places without community. Sure it can be, but it can also be a vibrant place filled with close friends and the rural town where everyone knows everyone can be alienating and lonely. Conservative mom doesn’t get that her daughter is actually part of a community, just a different kind of community built on shared interests more than shared location.
Cities can definitely be lonely places without community, especially if you move to a big one as an adult. Seattle has a phrase, The Seattle Freeze, and it's not related to the weather. It's really just going to depend on the person, and their situation. Being in an expensive city without money can be really depressing. Being in a high culture city with a lot of money can be really amazing. And of course there are a million degrees in-between.
There can be a lot of community found in commiseration. Finding people who are going through the same thing and making friends with them will always make it better, even if it doesn't actually solve the problem.