Selfhosted
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Just out of curiousity:
Why are you running multiple instances? I assume because of HA/failover. But do you really need that? I know that most setups already have a single point of failure elsewhere. IMHO you are better off by making the reverse proxy or host of the reverse proxy more stable. I even multiple point of failures, such as my internet connection and modem.
An alternative would be to front your Nginx Proxy Manager with another proxy, such as HAProxy or Traefik. Both are designed for HA deployment and can also do health checks to decide what traffic to redirect to what endpoint. An HAProxy example and a Traefik example.