this post was submitted on 16 Aug 2023
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[–] neatchee 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

If someone tells me they have something mentally wrong with them

You know, I was gonna reply to you with a bunch of information on how to help people and be understanding, patient, and compassionate. But then I read this line and I lost all interest. I'm sorry you've gone through what you have. But this is callous and heartless. Don't project your extreme situation onto the common mental health challenges of others. I hope nobody with mental health challenges - you know, simple stuff like depression or minor trauma responses - ever comes to rely on or trust you. They'll just have their heart broken.

Don't be surprised when your children, spouse, family, or friends do not trust you or share their struggles with you. They will doubtlessly fear that you'll abandon them in a heartbeat once they know this terrible trait of yours

Shame on you for painting all people who struggle with mental health with a single brush.

And since I have my mental health issues (MDD) I'll assume "you just can't" and end our conversation here, for both our sakes

P.S. My wife's best friend when through a rough patch and came out of it with a similar attitude. She tried sharing one of her struggles with PTSD with him, like she used to, and he told her "I need a break from you, you just bring me down all the time" and I saw what that did to her. Made me sick to my stomach

[–] Will_Not_Grow_Up 0 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I really am sorry you're going through that, but this also unfortunately proves my point. Good luck with your depression I really hope you have an amazing support system, and don't forget to thank them.

I pick my battles, I'm weak and I don't have it in me to be the support a stranger needs, If I can only give it my all for one person, it's going to be my family. There's just no more room for others, he takes what little I can give.

[–] neatchee 1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

This will be my last response:

Going through that? It's not something I'm "going through". It's a condition I've had almost all my life and it's well managed for a long time now. I'm not asking for your support. Just your understanding. And that's what you don't get. Compassion costs you nothing, but you can't even do that

✌️

[–] Will_Not_Grow_Up 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Again, you're proving my point. I just finished telling you a story of my struggle. How my love and understanding and support of my brother who I love just takes it's toll on me and my family and I still help and love him. How I struggle, how I am sad and how I am at my wits end and yet I still help him. I give all that I can to him so I am unable to help others because of it, but you only read a small part of it and I became the bad guy.

I don't know in what voice you've been reading our conversation, but I was not angry, or yelling or seething our entire conversation. It's difficult to display emotion in text, so I encourage you to re-read what I wrote, but instead of picturing a person yelling or trying to start an argument, picture a broken man trying to keep his family intact while he has a force breaking him down every step of this way, but every time he tries to get away, all he sees is the little brother he shared his Gameboy with so they could both play Pokemon.

I am sorry you took the words going through as though I meant some disrespect, but as I sit here wondering how I'm the bad guy for hoping you have a great support system, I come back to the point I was originally making. It's difficult to interact with people that suffer with mental disorders, everyone is the bad guy, and if someone does not help them specifically, then they must not care. When in fact we could be suffering too, but don't have a diagnosis, so we just don't get it, and we have to be on their side or we're the problem.

[–] neatchee 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Yeah, you told me a sad story in a thread about other people. You turned it into a conversation about yourself instead of thinking about the perspective of others

You're the one not listening. I've been talking about other people this entire time and all you can think about is yourself and how hard it was for you and your bad memories.

I'm doing fine. I don't need your support. I'm not asking for your support. Not once have I told you that you should support me.

I'm trying to tell you that compassion is free. You aren't being asked to take care of anyone. You're being asked not to place the blame at the feet of people who are suffering, and not to point at people who struggle and call them sick because "only an unwell person would do that."

You sound really narcissistic. Even your efforts to come off as supportive were performative and came back around to "but I said the thing, so I'm the good guy".

I don't think you're being aggressive. I don't think you're being mean. I don't think you're angry or hateful.

I think you're selfish.

Muting you now so I don't keep seeing your self-pitying excuses for why you should shun those who struggle with mental health. It's really starting to make me sick