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What the hell is even "self care"? (self.nostupidquestions)

submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by dingus to c/[email protected]

15 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I have been trying out various therapy services lately (they all suck and do nothing, but that's another topic). One of the things that the therapists always ask/say is if I do "self care" or tell me to do more "self care". They talk about all kinds of different things that range from eating right to eating something as a treat to exercising to going for a walk to finding a hobby to etc.

So it seems like "self care" is literally anything that benefits your existence. And I'm quite frankly confused. I live alone and have zero responsibilities outside of work. Isn't every moment of every day when I'm not working considered self care? When I go home at the end of the day, I have dinner and dick around on the internet. I don't have kids or pets so there's nothing else to worry about. I don't have any extra responsibilities. My continued existence is "self care". I don't get it.

What I would understand in all of this is if I had maybe like kids or a sick family member I had to take care of. Is that who "self care" is for? People that have extra responsibilities? Because for those of us loners, basically our entire existence is self care. So I'm confused at what any of that is supposed to accomplish. I already do everything for myself.

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[–] Carrolade 4 points 2 days ago

It's a broad category.

Good health practices are the foundation--diet, exercise, hygiene, sleep, hydration, etc. Then it comes down to things that contribute to your happiness. Things that just kill time aren't really fulfilling for the most part, you want something that feels like you're actually developing some happiness in a more time-investment sort of way. This usually involves either creating or improving something in some fashion. What form this takes varies tremendously from person to person, for some its learning, it can be art, it can be gardening, it can be social activities, it can even be watching movies if you're actively consuming, where you're thinking and growing as you watch. Common with movie buffs who can break down the ins and outs of films, they acquired that skill by watching and thinking about lots of different movies. For a big sports fan, watching or playing sports can qualify.

The key that binds them all together is there's something that can progress, something that you value that can be built further up or otherwise gained.

When they say self care, they want you to think about things in this way. Like, smoking a whole shitload of weed might be really enjoyable, but is there anything developed or gained there? If not, even though it might feel good, that wouldn't be self care.