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What the hell is even "self care"? (self.nostupidquestions)

submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by dingus to c/[email protected]

15 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I have been trying out various therapy services lately (they all suck and do nothing, but that's another topic). One of the things that the therapists always ask/say is if I do "self care" or tell me to do more "self care". They talk about all kinds of different things that range from eating right to eating something as a treat to exercising to going for a walk to finding a hobby to etc.

So it seems like "self care" is literally anything that benefits your existence. And I'm quite frankly confused. I live alone and have zero responsibilities outside of work. Isn't every moment of every day when I'm not working considered self care? When I go home at the end of the day, I have dinner and dick around on the internet. I don't have kids or pets so there's nothing else to worry about. I don't have any extra responsibilities. My continued existence is "self care". I don't get it.

What I would understand in all of this is if I had maybe like kids or a sick family member I had to take care of. Is that who "self care" is for? People that have extra responsibilities? Because for those of us loners, basically our entire existence is self care. So I'm confused at what any of that is supposed to accomplish. I already do everything for myself.

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[–] otacon239 31 points 2 days ago

Self-care for me has a lot to do with intent. A good friend of mine calls most leisure activity “masturbating.” If all you’re doing is watching TV, scrolling feeds, playing games, etc, you’re technically being entertained, but you’re not really benefiting yourself in any way and you’re not truly engaged.

Alternatively, real self care is often meditative in some way. Something that you’re purposely doing to separate yourself from consumption and focus on your mental state. Even treating a morning routine seriously enough can count if you can work in planned time to meditate or similar.

I think it comes down to mindfulness. If it’s something you do without thinking, I don’t think it counts as self-care.