Shitty Superheroes

Powers:

• Can state the most painfully obvious facts at any given moment.
• Always arrives just in time to tell people what they already know.
• His catchphrase: "In case you didn't notice..."

Weaknesses:

• Completely useless in critical thinking scenarios.
• Tends to annoy everyone around him.

SUPERPOWER: Is the ability to turn anything he touches into a participation trophy.

His costume - it's a bright orange jumpsuit with neon green stripes and a giant "MEH" emblazoned on the chest.

SUPERPOWER: He renders his enemies emotionally responsible for his poor self image. Guilt tripping them into feeling it's their responsibility to heal him emotionally!

SUPERPOWER: Finding ways to martyr himself in the most trivial situations imaginable. Despite his best efforts to be a hero, The Martyrizer's constant need to play the martyr only ends up making everyone else feel awkward and uncomfortable.

SUPERPOWER: Muttering under his breath and leaving passive aggressive notes about how poor his enemies performance as villains they are on their car after conflict.

SUPERPOWER: He avoids fighting crime because he's afraid of confrontation. So he goes online and uses his solid iron thumb to downvote his enemies opinions online.

SUPERPOWER: Becomes incapacitated with fear inducing panic attacks rendering him helpless and convulsing on the floor at the sight of danger.

SUPERPOWER: Is having perfect grammar. He can fix any sentence structure or spelling error with a mere wave of his dainty wrist.

But, he can only do it once every blue moon, and only if he's wearing his lucky pair of grammar glasses.

SUPERPOWER: Is the ability to change the color of his shoelaces at will.