[Outdated, please look at pinned post] Casual Conversation

I know we usually don't talk video games here, but I thought discussing relaxing games might still be nice

Like everywhere i said this opinion it has'nt went well was my experience because i used the wrong server or something ? I felt like it was seveely underpolished and felt like i was in a ghost town like i get it there are uses like joining a foss project community but there is no internet randos to chat and the clunkiness threw me out immedietly . Anyway thoughts and opinions ? Also if anyone has tried IRC would you reccomend ? And do give a review .

LIKE_THIS ? And do i come of as some kinda culty weirdo ? I thought that looked formal and trademarky ? Am i a zoomer aldready out of touch and becoming cringe ? Should i change my accs to small letters but i'll lose my block history whuch is almost 1000 /c/ any way to back that up ?

Edit : also to get ahead on that matter yes i may or may not have had FULL_CAPS alts and may have felt like a troll but no chained accs like that has ever been created by me . (By chained i meant same name on different instance i pulled the term out of my ass just now enjoy 😂)

Was just wondering

Nothin much just wanted to know how you are doing ?

I am fairly active on Lemmy and I want to ask this rather personal question using this account. Friendly warning: I talk about trauma in this post, and I am both autistic and ADHD so forgive if you read something that seems asinine to you.

Question: Would you consider yourself successful? If so, how much have you let your past trauma/bad luck (if any) affect you? I’ve gotten into a rut lately where I cannot get it out of my head that I am unlucky, and so I am trying to get perspective.

While some people would call me successful because I am highly educated (PhD in Engineering), have my own house (valued at $1M+), am fairly good looking (pull both ladies and men), have a decent enough resume with fancy names on it etc. I still feel like a loser because I am not married and don’t have kids, and I don’t think I am exceptional or outstanding in my field (this is not imposter syndrome, I am just not as good as people who are great).

Lately I’ve been examining why I feel like shit about my life, and I think it’s because whenever I had time to learn and grow, something outside of my control happened which derailed me. Am I making excuses and not taking responsibility?

I know I have C-PTSD as I was diagnosed for it, so obviously I let my past affect me. I also have memory issues because of trauma which have gotten worse over the years. I still have issues about being bullied and mocked in middle school, and I am not sure that’s normal. I also got bullied in primary school and high school as well, but remember less of this. I remember I had a math teacher who beat me in primary school (because I grew up where that was allowed).

When my parents moved to the U.S., my family faced a period of extreme poverty for at least 10 years during which I went through HS and college. My brother started emotionally and physically abusing at this point till he moved out. My brother and I had a weird relationship even prior to the physical (not sexual) abuse in that one time he kissed me, and it was such a gross moment because I really trusted him.

College was also isolating because I burned out from the poverty issues and emotional/physical abuse from my brother, and I got severely isolated and depressed and burnt out. I went to a top 30 liberal arts school so it wasn’t exactly an easy place, but it’s not like it was Harvard tough.

After college I ended up working somewhere I kind of liked at first but by this time I had developed an emotional void which needed attention and love, and I instead focused that on trying to excel at work but in a way which alienated others and isolated me socially. I ended up leaving that job for a higher paying one, and I’ve learned over time how to recognize these trauma-induced symptoms in me and to even out my personality for better social interactions.

I started going to school part-time while working, and it was during this time that I started getting stalked and received unwanted sexual attention. I went to the police and over time this matter resolved itself. I finished school etc.

Which brings me to now where I feel like a complete loser who isn’t deserving of respect or love, or a dignified life.

I am wondering if I feel this way because I can’t handle stress like other people can, and there are people who have had worse things happened and are more successful? The latter is definitely true, so I think I want to hear from you about your traumas and how your life is successful despite them.

I also want to know if I am just making excuses for being mediocre, please feel free to let me know if I am being dramatic.

I understand why they added Wilson to the script and I think it was necessary but I am not sure I would do that myself.

The cave makes sense initially but he never really improves upon it. I guess I am thinking of all the stuff they built on Gilligan's Island (which was fictional of course). It just seems like he should have built more stuff...perhaps build a hut, a bed frame, table etc. inside the cave.

Also, he was there four years. He could have started building a raft in the first month and had a much nicer raft than the one he used.

I still like the movie. I just think if it were me I don't think I'd have a Wilson and I would probably build more stuff somehow.

I feel like people don't even consider instant coffee, but it has served me well. Plus it's affordable, quick and doesn't require any extra appliances.

Edit: People I wrote my thesis on Nestles ethical malpractices. I'm sorry 😭

Either that or stainless steel makes it worse.

Either that or stainless steel makes it worse.

I've been happily posting away here on two accounts since just before the Great Migration, and have no problem being openly a woman on the internet. Up to and including correcting people who assume I'm a guy, and even occasionally acknowledging the existence of periods.

Which, honestly that was a bad tactic back on Reddit, my inbox was a nightmare. But here it's gone much better, so thank you to anyone who ever received one of my corrections with good grace!

It's also brought quite a few DMs my way from other women who try to stay more anonymous with their posts, a choice I can completely understand.

So today on International Women's Day I just want to wave hello to the other women out there, even if you don't want to break cover and wave back. Anonymous or not, cis or trans, I see you out there and you're killing it.

This may break the community rule on encouraging discussion, if nobody wants to out themselves to say hello back. So I guess I should also ask a question.

Um...anyone else using it as an excuse to treat themselves today? I've given myself the day (mostly) off work and am doing some fun gamedev all afternoon instead, then we're planning a takeaway tonight. Easily pleased, perhaps, but sounds good to me 😄

Curious to see what the trends are

Trying to get some positivity today

Is it gonna reach anywhere or die out like kbin and the way it is going i would say mbin ? They are also trying to dip toe in the microblogging platform as well and trying to use lemmy clients and that confuses me as they are promising some features lemmy doesn't have so how would that and the microblogging part work out on lemmy clients . Also srry if i am at the wrong /c/ and just point me in the right way .

EDIT: After some researches i don't think i wanna support sublink as the devs didn't open any issues or propose any contributions to lemmy which could've solved the whole mod tools issue for everyone but they straight up went to forking for who knows why and that is not a good look.

If anyone wants to ask me somethin or something else you can find me at @The_wild_card . That's all.

I mean really. I often forget about it because I like many other people out there just take it for granted and we use it everyday.

It's really insane being able to call someone from any given location (well if you signal lol) to anywhere on this globe. You can write an e-mail and the person will read it with little no delay.

Heck, we can be living in a polar climate zone and be in tropical climate zones within a day if you have the spare money to fly.

110 years (1914) people installed the first air conditions in their homes. I don't know how life was without but I can imagine.

We can buy food in a store and keep the food cool and frozen for however long we want in our own homes.

Note: It's for drug possession, not anything super bad.

13 years ago, my now former best friend tried to first con me out of money and then did it to my mom instead because my daughter had just been born (which he knew) and money was tight. I always knew he had addiction issues, but I never thought he would actually stoop that low.

Today, my wife showed me that there was a public database where you could search Indiana court cases, so out of curiosity, I typed in his name.

21 court cases, mostly drug, vehicle and fraud offenses in the county where we grew up, went to college in, and which he eventually moved back to, stretching back to 1999! Note he didn’t even live there for 10 years!

He’s currently in prison until December because he was found in possession of methamphetamine. And it was not his first time in prison or the first time he had meth on him. He did drugs when we were in college, but the most serious one was cocaine and that was very occasional. I knew he had a drinking problem, and even that he was abusing prescription medication (he offered me Vicodin when I was visiting him in San Francisco and had a headache) but I had no idea he sunk as low as meth.

This was a guy who wanted to compose classical music when I met him in middle school. He was very intellectual and well-read even then. He eventually went to Indiana University, which has one of the world’s top music schools, for composition. He always was very full of life and cheer and how far he has fallen! I knew he'd sunk really low back when he conned me, but this was the first friend I ever made in middle school in the eighth grade after going through all of seventh grade with no friends and we could and did talk about anything for hours, so I kept him in my life for as long as I could.

After college, he got way into restaurants and cooking and was working at some really high-end places, so when he contacted me and told me he wanted to do a pop-up restaurant as a way of starting a full business and needed $400, I gave him the benefit of the doubt. We mostly talked to each other online at that point, so he gave me a pretty false picture of his life.

I’m honestly not sad about the end of the friendship anymore. I cut him completely out of my life 13 years ago and I do not miss him at this point. Would it have been nice to sit together on a porch in the nursing home in 40 years and spend hours talking about Kafka? Sure. But I'm not losing any sleep over it. In fact, when she told me about the database, it was the first time I had thought about him in ages, but he was the only person I thought of and I had to look.

So I'm not sad about it. I shouldn't even be surprised about it. But it's so weird knowing my former closest friend is spending a year in prison.

Have you ever found out anything like this about an old friend you lost touch with?